The only approval you need is from yourself

How we think, feel and act based on our psychological, emotional and social well-being. Mental well-being plays a very vital role in how we relate to others and our surroundings, how we fit in and ultimately what role we want to play in the society we are living in.

The long history of cultural practices in the society such as rewarding the winner and neglect the loser, power goes to the rich and the poor obey seem to have set standards of what is success and what is failure. The expectations of modern consumer based society further influenced by messages and information from the media. Some unrealistic standards of beauty, career standard, financial standards keep people feeling insecure. To thrive or even just to survive in a fast-paced, highly competitive material world today, many just trying to be what the society expects them to be. Besides, most people love the feeling of being accepted, validated, approved and being seen in a good light. It is energy draining to be a people pleaser all the time. Slaving ourselves to be who we are not will create a very negative mental well-being where deep down we do not think well of ourselves, losing self-respect, feeling worthless, low self-confident and even feeling depressed.

Of course some of these expectations can serve as motivations to improve ourselves and be a better person. Understand that there are no one in the world without flaws. If we do not accept who we are in the first place, we will not enjoy the process of self-improving. No amount of self-improvement can make up for lack of self-acceptance. We definitely cannot improve ourselves if we continuously seeking approval from others because the only approval we need is from ourselves.



自古以来社群文化习惯如胜利者被奖赏而败者被忽略以及富裕者掌权的人而贫穷者尊从似乎社群有着一套成功和失败的标准。现代消费为主的社群更被媒体的讯息和资讯影响而定下认为的标准。一些不切实际的美丽标准, 事业标准和财务标准让人活在没安全感当中。在现代快速又竞争力高的现代物质为主的社群里,要出人头地甚至只是生存,众多的人们只好试着扮演社群认为标准的角色。更何况人们都喜欢被接纳,认同,认可和被视为好而带来的感觉。长期的讨好别人是非常耗精力的。生活里把我们自己当奴隶的当我们不喜欢的角色将会造成负面的心理健康而发现心里深处我们看不好自己,失去自尊,感觉自己无价值,失去自信甚至忧郁。


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